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A
collection of beer quotes we've collected from near & far. If you know
of any we're missing 'Contact Us' & let us know.
"Without
question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh,
I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
-Dave Barry
"The problem
with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
-Humphrey Bogart
"The sum of the
matter is, the people drink because they wish to drink."
-Rudolph Brand
"People who
drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a
lot."
-Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
"Beer will
always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be
considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods."
-Bruce Carlton
"No soldier can
fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer."
-John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough
"Always
remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken
out of me."
-Winston Churchill
"The roots and
herbes beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk, cleareth,
strengtheneth and quickeneth the sight of the eyes."
-Nicholas Culpeper
"If God had
intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
-David Daye
"If you ever
reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot
out your nose."
-Jack Handy
"Sometimes when
I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into
the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their
hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work
and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better
that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish
and worry about my liver.'"
-Jack Handy
"Make sure that
the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire before any
of the parties in the rear get a drop."
-Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944
"A woman drove
me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
-W.C. Fields
"Everybody has
to believe in something.....I believe I'll have another drink."
-W.C. Fields
"Not all
chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for
example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in
beer."
-Dave Barry
"Beer is proof
that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Benjamin Franklin
"Always do
sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your
mouth shut."
-Ernest Hemmingway
"An intelligent
man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
"They who drink
beer will think beer."
-Washington Irving
"One of the
hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn't live like the
previous generation. It hasn't yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer."
-Ron Klugman, SVP, Coors Brewing
"I am a firm
believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to
meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real
facts, and beer."
-Abraham Lincoln
"We old folks
have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is
the milk of the old."
-Martin Luther
"Prohibition
makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry
into."
-Don Marquis
"You're not
drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
-Dean Martin
"Whoever serves
beer or wine watered down, he himself deserves in them to drown."
-Medieval plea for pure libations
"Why is
American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine."
-David Moulton
"I drink to
make other people interesting."
-George Jean Nathan
"May your glass
be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you
be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."
-Old Irish Toast
"A bar is
better than a newspaper for public discussion."
-Jim Parker, on the importance of a healthy pub culture
"He was a wise
man who invented beer."
-Plato
"God made pot.
Man made beer. Who do you trust?"
-Restroom in The Irish Times, Washington DC
"Beer needs
baseball, and baseball needs beer - it has always been thus."
-Peter Richmond
"Brewers enjoy
working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working."
-Harold Rudolph
"I would kill
everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
-Homer Simpson
"All right,
brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this
and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
-Homer Simpson
"I feel sorry
for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as
good as they're going to feel all day."
-Frank Sinatra
"I never met a
pub I didn't like."
-Pete Slosberg, Founder of Pete's Brewing Company
"[I recommend]…
bread, meat, vegetables and beer."
-Sophocles' philosophy of a moderate diet
"This is grain,
which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine
means of consumption... Beer!"
-Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, Friar Tuck
"Fermentation
may have been a greater discovery than fire."
-David Rains Wallace
"Give me a
woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world."
-Kaiser Welhelm
"I'm going to
buy a boat... do a little travelling, and I'm going to be drinking
beer!"
-John Welsh, Brooklyn bus driver who won $30 million in the New York
lottery
"Beer: So much
more than just a breakfast drink."
-Whitstran Brewery sign
"Work is the
curse of the drinking class."
-Oscar Wilde
"Who does not
love beer, wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long."
-Carl Worner
"When I read
about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
-Henny Youngman
"Time is never
wasted when you're wasted all the time."
-Catherine Zandonella
"You can't be a
real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you
have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the
very least you need a beer."
-Frank Zappa
24 hours in a
day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
-Stephen Wright
"When we drink,
we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we
commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
-Brian O'Rourke
"Beer: Helping
ugly people have sex since 1862!"
-Anonymous
"To some its a
six-pack, to me it's a Support Group."
-Anonymous
"Oh, lager beer! It makes good cheer, And proves the poor man's worth;
It cools the body through and through, and regulates the health."
-Anonymous
"I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety."
-Shakespeare, Henry V
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few
beers."
-Cliff Clavin, of Cheers
"I do not drink
more than a sponge."
-Rabelais, 17th-century French satirist
"I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with
friends. I've lost 30 pounds."
-Ernest Hemingway
"A quart of ale
is a dish for a king."
-William Shakespeare
"Whoever called it near beer was a poor judge of distance."
-Prohibition saying
"It was as natural as eating and, to me, as necessary. I would not have
thought of eating a meal without drinking a beer."
-Ernest Hemingway
"There are more old drunks than there are old doctors."
-Willie Nelson
"For we could not now take time for further search (to land our ship),
our victuals being much spent, especially our beer."
-from the log of THE MAYFLOWER
"Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer!"
-Louis Untermeyer
"Beer that is not drunk had missed its vocation."
-Meyer Breslau, 1880
"Wine is but
single broth, ale is meat, drink, and cloth."
-16th century English proverb.
"I drink to
make other people interesting."
-George Jean Nathan
"There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation."
-John Ciandi
"Well I woke
up this morinin' and I got myself a beer."
-Jim Morrison (The Doors)
"My advice
to you... is to start drinking heavily."
-John Belushi (Animal House)
"Beer
makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer."
-Henry Lawson
"I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion."
-Miguel De Cervantes
"I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death."
-Jack Kerouac
"Fill with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions
clamber through the chambers of my brain. Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies,
come to life and fade away. What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale
today."
-Edgar Allan Poe
"Whiskey's too rough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear.
I hope this refrain, Will help me explain, As a matter of fact, I like beer."
-Tom T. Hall
"But if at church they would give some ale. And a pleasant fire our souls to regale.
We’d sing and we’d pray all the live long day, Nor ever once from the church to
stray."
-William Blake
"We brewers don’t make beer, we just get all the ingredients together and the
beer makes itself."
-Fritz Maytag, President Anchor Brewing
"Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer."
-Frederick the Great
"It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my
subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence.
Everybody is using coffee. If possible, this must be prevented. My people must
drink beer."
-Frederick the Great
"From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world."
-Saint Arnold of Metz, The patron Saint of Brewers
"You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are."
-Colonel Adolphus Busch
"I work until beer o’clock."
-Steven King
"Keep your libraries, your penal institutions, your insaneasylums... give me beer.
You think man needs rule, he needs beer. The world does not need morals, it
needs beer... The souls of men have been fed with indigestibles, but the soul could
make use of beer."
-Henry Miller
"In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer."
-A.J.P. Taylor, British historian
"What two ideas are more inseparable than beer and Britannia?"
-Sydney Smith, English clergyman, writer.
"There may be a few good men who don't drink, but they've got to prove it."
-Col. Lincoln Karmany, USMC
"Don't you know alcohol kills brain cells...any damn brain cell that can't live through
a good drunk deserves to die. You're doing yourself a favour, getting rid of all them
nonhacking, underachieving ones. I'm working on improving your efficiency."
-James Webb (A Country Such As This)
"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it."
-Anonymous
"No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink."
-G.K. Chesterton
"Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine."
-Anonymous
"If beer and women aren't the answer, then you're asking the wrong questions."
-Anonymous
"The church
is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far away, but I will walk
carefully." -Russian proverb
"I'm off for
a quiet pint – followed by fifteen noisy ones."
-Gareth Chilcott
"I would kill every last
man in this room for one drop of sweet beer"
-Homer Simpson |
